


Two Hearts, One Soul

by The Loneliest Bird (ShintheCat)



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: And maybe some smut in the future, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama, F/F, I'm Sorry, Romance, the pharmercy angst nobody asks for, there will be tears
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-01-17 01:56:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12355059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShintheCat/pseuds/The%20Loneliest%20Bird
Summary: Losing the only person she ever cared about to a car accident, Angela gives up on love. She can't seem to let go of the past and lives her life like a ghost. Until one day, a stranger knocks on her door, telling her she's the one who carries the heart of her lost love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. I had this idea from reading a true story about a father and a receiver of his deceased daughter's heart. He drives thousands of miles to meet him just to listen to his daughter's heartbeat. It was very sad and touching. This story is heavily inspired by that event.

 

0ooo0

 

Angela startled out of her sleep, gasping for air. She sat up on bed, staring intensely at nothing in front of her. She shivered. The sudden exposure of skin as the cover had run down her body caused goosebumps on her arms and back even though she felt like she was burning. Angela squeezed her eyes, cursing under her breath. Sweat was everywhere; her nightgown clung impossibly tight around her body; and sheets tangled between her legs, soaked by the pool of wetness there.

Angela got off the bed and made her way to the adjacent bathroom. She splashed water to her face and then stared at her reflection in the mirror. An angry blush flushed her entire face and neck. It was vivid, the dream, like she had actually been there, had actually been  _ touched _ . To be fair, the dreams had never left. They had been haunting her ever since, causing so many sleepless nights and tears. Yet, a part of Angela wanted them to last forever, wanted them to stay, to keep plaguing her miserable life. After all, they were what she had left. An illusion she wasn’t ready to let go.

She heard a wet noise, and it came from down there. She bit her lip and sucked in a breath before dragging her exhausted body to the shower. She had been neglecting her needs, and the dreams had worked as fuel for her frustration. Even though her body was screaming for release, Angela ignored it. She turned on the faucet, setting it to chill. The cold water hit her like a thousand of needles, plunging at her sensitive skin, but it helped. It distracted her, and even if it was only for a brief moment, that was enough.

And Angela stood there under the freezing water, wrapping her arms around her body as it shook under the weight of her overwhelming emotion. It was cold. Her entire body was numb; and yet she felt hot tears rolling down her cheeks.

 

0ooo0

 

“So, I was thinking…How about lunch at Reinhart’s today?” Lena chirped, leaning her frame against the counter. “It’s Monday! Buy one get one free!”

“I’d like that! It’s been awhile since we last went there,” Mei, sitting behind the counter, joined their conversation after setting aside the pile of files she had been working on.

“Yes, but it’s pretty far away from work,” Angela said, shifting through the many papers in her clipboard. She opened the cap of her pen with her teeth and scribbled something down. “Mei, where has the patient on bed 15 been move to?” asked Angela, still not looking up from her clipboard.

“He’s been transferred to orthopedic ward.”

“Good. What about bed 13?”

“Transferred to trauma ward,” was Mei’s automatic voice.

“Thanks, Mei.”

“Come on, Angie! We can take my car. It’s only 10 minutes driving,” Lena insisted, popping a peppermint candy taken from the top of the counter into her mouth.

“You know I don’t like cars, Lena.”

“Yes, I do know why. But I am a good driver, you know that.”

“It has nothing to do with your driving, Lena,” said Angela, giving Lena the look, and she was relieved to see Lena back down on the subject. They had been arguing about her car complex for how long Angela didn’t even remember. “If we’re going there, we will take the bus,” she said in finality.

“It’s going to take 20 minutes if we take the bus! Ugh fine! We’ll take the bus then. You’re the boss after all,” Lena exclaimed dramatically, rolling her eyes at Angela.

Mei giggled at Lena’s outburst, “Oh, let me ask Satya too,” she said, pulling out her phone and started texting her doctor friend.

“Yeah, you do that. I’m going to ask Miss Beefcake to join us too,” Lena said, stretching her arms forward.

“Don’t call people names, nurse Oxton,” said Angela.

“She’s fine with me calling her that, you know? After all, look at those arms!” Lena laughed, “Is it not your type, Angela?”

“Lena, we talked about this,” Angela frowned. It had been a joke in the beginning, but it was getting on her nerves over time. And strangely, thinking about it made her unhappy and uncomfortable.

“Sorry, Angie. I didn’t mean to make fun of…you know? But don’t you think it’s time to move on?” Lena said, looking sincere like the person she always was, and it pained Angela a little whenever she had to look at Lena’s sad face.

“I’m fine, Lena,” she sighed, “Go ask Aleks. I’m sure she’d love to come. I’ll be in my office if you guys need anything,” Angela said before picking up a different clipboard on the counter and walking towards her office.

Alone in her office. Angela allowed her shoulders to slump. She leaned her head back on her reclining chair, hand rubbing circles on her forehead. The ER was unusually secluded today, and it was a Monday no less, but Angela was grateful nonetheless for this little free time that she could use to rest her tired mind.

What Lena had said bothered her, however. She wasn’t upset at her friend, of course. She was upset because of what she couldn’t tell. At herself? Maybe, for denying her the life she deserved. At fate? Very likely, for taking away her means to live, her sunlight, her source of happiness, her everything. Yes, she was upset and angry at fate even though she thought she had gotten over that phase a long time ago.

Angela silently opened the bottom drawer of her desk. She took out a photo frame and held it in her palms. She traced the faces in the picture with her fingers, staring longingly at a smiling face and bright eyes, beaming up at her. It had been close to three years since she last saw that smile, the most beautiful smile Angela had ever seen.

She felt her eyes sting, and she quickly tried to hold back the tears. It felt like it was only yesterday, tangled in bed, they laughed about having a farm for pets in the future. It felt like just yesterday, Angela could still taste the bitter-sweet of coffee on soft lips as they kissed her. It felt like just yesterday, Angela waved goodbye to her beautiful wife, smiling sweetly as she watched her getting inside her faded truck, lunch bag in one hand, ready for work. It felt like just yesterday, she was still here, within Angela’s reach.

It had happened so fast, and so sudden. It had left Angela speechless, had left her paralyzed when they told her the news. And then, she was gone, forever. Angela couldn’t save her. They got to the hospital too late. She was too late. She didn’t even have the chance to see her one last time. It was fatal, they said. The vehicles were demolished beyond repaired. The drivers did not make it. One of them died instantly, the other was struggling, they said. And she was gone.

Angela gasped softly. She clutched the frame tightly against her chest. She gave up on holding her tears. It was too much to bear, and she was only human. Yet, Angela was surprised she still had enough tears in her to shed after so many times crying her heart out, holding this photo close to her broken heart, the last photo they had taken together.

After what seemed like hours to her, Angela’s tears subsided. She quickly dabbed her eyes with tissue, reapplying her mascara and blush. She couldn’t afford people seeing her so weak when she had repeatedly told them she was fine, that she was over the grief. Angela was the director of the ER after all, and even though she knew her heart could never heal, her pain would never leave, masking her true emotions was what a doctor did best.

Also, she didn’t want to worry her friends. She knew they only wanted her to be happy. That was why Lena and Mei had tried numerous of times setting her up with a potential date. Angela had tried to cooperate a couple of the first few dates, but eventually she had given up. She couldn’t help but compare them to her lost love, and it pained her immensely thinking about her. Part of her knew it wasn’t her dates. They were probably wonderful people, and if she had intended to get to know them, maybe it would have worked. But Angela didn’t want it to work from the very beginning. She refused to let go. She was afraid. She loved her too much, and she felt like if she let go, her love would be lost forever.

Yes, Angela knew she might sound like a mad person. But right now, what was left of her wife lived because of Angela. She was still there in Angela’s heart, Angela’s mind, Angela’s soul. How could Angela let go when she was still living within her? How could she love someone else when her heart had been claimed a long time ago? It wouldn’t have been fair for any of them. And so, Angela accepted this life. She would live for the memory of the happy time they had in the past. It was enough, Angela thought.

“Angela?” Mei called from outside.

“Come in, Mei,” Angela said after placing the picture frame back inside the drawer.

“You’re alright, sweetie? You’ve been in here for almost an hour.”

Angela faked a smile for a concerned looking Mei. She shook her head, “I’m okay. I was taking a nap. Might as well take advantage of such rare occasion, right?” she laughed.

Mei still looked skeptical, but instead of pressing on, she chose to let it slide. “Well, get ready. We leave in five minutes,” she said.

“I am ready!”

 

0ooo0

 

“Dr. Zeigler, Chief wanted to talk to you ASAP,” a nurse said to her, tapping her gently on the arm to get her attention.

“Thank you, Eric,” Angela said. She resumed her probing on a little girl’s stomach. The child came in that evening with a stomachache after dining out with her family. “Does it hurt here?” she asked gently, and the girl shook her head. “How about here?” another shake. “How about you tell me where you’re hurt, okay?” Angela let out a relieved sigh as the girl pointed to where it hurt. Turned out it was just a case of dyspepsia. Angela smiled and stroked the child’s head before turning to the nurse standing next to her. She gave him instructions on the girl’s case, telling him how to treat their little patient. He nodded and be on his way.

After telling the worried parents that their daughter would be okay, Angela begrudgingly dragged her feet towards the elevator. She dreaded talking to her supervisor. It wasn’t because he was unpleasant and bossy like people would assume for a boss; it was the opposite to be honest. Jack Morrison was the father figure for everyone in this hospital. He was gentle and considerate. In fact, he was the dream boss if Angela had to give her opinions on the man. But it was his caring nature that gave Angela troubles. She had not a single doubt that this talk they were about to have would be about her inhuman working scheme.

“Come in, Angela,” Jack called from the other side of the wooden door.

Angela stepped in the cramped office of Overwatch Hospital’s Chief Executive Jack Morrison. Despite being promoted to the highest rank a long time ago, he still wanted his old humble office room. It was quite small for the man of his position, but Angela wouldn’t argue about the view entailed. Being on the tenth floor of the building, Jack’s office would be the best place for landscape viewing if Angela had to make a comparison. She wasn’t jealous, however. Angela hated the height.

“Jack, what’s the matter? You know I’m working, right?”

“Yes, and that is exactly what I called you here for.”

Angela groaned, dropping her weight on the couch ungraciously in front of her boss’s desk. “Not this again, Jack. I told you! I’m fine,” she said, rubbing her temples.

“No, you are not! You barely eat. You come to work exactly one hour early everyday, which is 7AM, and always leave past midnight. And don’t get me started on the days that you practically make camps in this hospital, and don’t ask why I know either,” Jack’s gave her a stern look when she was about to protest.

“So, Lena is your spy now, I see,” Angela scoffed, crossing her arms in disapproval.

“She’s just worried about you. We all are worried about you, Angela!”

“I’m fine,” said Angela stubbornly. She refused to see his reasons. After all, he couldn’t understand what she had been going through. Angela couldn’t bear coming to her cold and unwelcoming home, if she could call that a home. Working and staying at the hospital helped her forget about her ghosts. At least there was always something to occupy her mind when she was at work. “Besides, that’s literally my job description. Working extra hours is expected in the ER,” she countered.

“Shut up, Angela.”

“What?”

“You will take this weekend and the following week off, resting, traveling, getting laid…, whatever I don’t care. Just don’t drag your ass here. That’s an order!”

“You can’t do that! People need me!” Angela exclaimed, appalled.

“No, they don’t.”

“You can’t be serious!”

“I’m dead serious! Too bad I can’t fire your stubborn ass because you’re too good, but I still can make rules,” said Jack with an annoyingly calm face. “Angela please, for once, do as I say,” he softened afterwards, looking at her sincerely.

Angela sighed. Even though right now she hated him for doing this to her, she knew it was for her benefits. Hell,she might as well be the only person in the world who would strongly refuse a vacation offered by her boss. “Fine. But will you stop pestering me about this if I do what you ask?” said Angela.

“We’ll see how you behave after the vacation.”

“I don’t believe this!” Angela exclaimed, standing up and stomping her way to the door, utterly defeated.

“Oh, and don’t you stay late tonight. It’s not your shift today,” Jack called after her before she slammed the door in his face.

 

0ooo0

 

Angela heaved a sigh, wiping the sweat off of her forehead. She looked around her freshly-cleaned kitchen, smiling proudly. She had been spending the entire morning and afternoon tidying her house. It had embarrassed her when she had begun the cleaning. Her house had turned out to be a living mess, with dust coated windows, stained countertops, used dishes in the sink, and unmade beds; not to mention the mountain of dirty laundry in the wash room. Angela was never a neat person. She somehow had adopted the bad habits of a scientist ever since she started college, and she had deemed her messy lifestyle acceptable until she met her wife. The woman was the exact opposite with Angela.

Thinking about her hurt all the time, but Angela couldn’t hide a smile despite herself. Her wife would never have let their house a mess like this. She would always be cleaning and putting things in order; and gradually Angela’s lifestyle had been changed living together. Times like these made Angela realize how much she missed her. This had actually been Angela’s favorite activity, just cleaning the house together with her wife when their busy schedules allowed. Angela remembered more than one occasion her love had suggested they do without any clothes on, saying she didn’t want to get their clothes dirty in the process, and Angela had gladly obliged every time.

Angela had just opened the cap of her water bottle when the bell to her door rang. She paused, contemplating who would that be. She was pretty sure she wasn’t expecting anyone today (she didn’t have many visitors except for her friends at work, and they were all working today), and she certainly didn’t order anything on the internet either. Taking a quick gulp of water before making her way to the door, Angela suddenly experienced a strange feeling, a feeling of nervousness and excitement mixed together. She leaned over the peephole, taking a peek, and the face on the other side of the door left her confused. She had never seen this person before, of that she was sure of, but oddly, their face reminded her of familiarity.

Another ring to the door, and Angela took a breath to calm down before opening her door. The stranger looked surprised in a mere second and took a step back. She took off her cap and gave Angela a smile.

“Hi. Sorry to trouble you, but I’m looking for the Zeigler residence, and my map pointed me here,” said the stranger.

Angela took a moment to observe her visitor. Tall, lean, bronze skin, dark hair and eyes. She was wearing a simple loose t-shirt with faded cowboy jeans, and then there were tattoos. Tattoos everywhere: lining her arms and biceps, on the right side of her long neck, under her left eye. Angela frowned. She never liked people with tattoos. She considered that a violation to the body.

“Ma’am?” the stranger asked upon receiving no reply.

“Ah! Uh…yeah, this is the Zeigler residence,” Angela snapped up, scrambling out the words, confused by the effect this stranger had on her.

“Are you Angela Zeigler, by any chance?”

“I am.”

The stranger’s lips tugged into a relieved smile, “Thank God, I finally found you. I’ve been driving around the neighborhood for the past hour. Thought I lost…” she laughed. “Ah, where are my manners? My name is Fareeha, Fareeha Amari. Nice to meet you,” she quickly said, reaching out for a handshake.

Angela took her hand, noting of how rough it felt. “Can I help you with anything, miss Amari?” she said.

“Actually yes! I’ve been wanting to meet you, but because of my job I didn’t have the time,” she paused, pulling out her wallet and taking out her ID. “Well, I’m retired now, recently been discharged,” the woman gave her the card, and Angela took it.

Angela read the ID card. This stranger turned out to be a soldier of some short. Reading further, Angela found out she was a pilot, belonged to aerial special forces. “Captain Amari…” Angela mumbled unconsciously, staring at the picture of the woman on the card. She was wearing the air force uniform, with white hat and black suit; medals decorated her left lapel.

“Yes. Ex-captain of special unit Delta 267. Basically, what we do is guarding the skies,” Fareeha smiled, and Angela must admit to herself this stranger was very attractive by normal standard. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to talk to you inside,” she continued, gesturing to Angela’s house with her hand.

“Ah, yes! Please,” said Angela, quickly stepping aside. “Do you want something to drink?” Angela asked once Fareeha had sat down on her couch.

“Water would be greatly appreciated. I’ve been out under this brutal sun for three hours straight,” she laughed, and Angela thought Fareeha seemed very friendly and warm.

Once they had settled in the living room, with Angela sitting on her favorite loveseat and her visitor on the couch, Fareeha’s friendly demeanor turned to nervousness.

“Ah, this is embarrassing. I have gone over this conversation a thousand of times inside my head, but now facing you, I don’t know where to start,” Fareeha gave her a shy smile, rubbing her neck awkwardly. “Can I call you Angela?” she asked, and upon getting a nod from Angela, she continued, “Angela, I wanted you to know how grateful I am to you and your spouse…”

“My…spouse?” Angela repeated, eyes widened.

“Yes. Without her help, I wouldn’t be sitting here. In fact, without her, I wouldn’t have been alive.” She paused and tentatively reached for Angela’s hands. “She gave me her heart, Angela,” whispered Fareeha, locking eyes with her.

Angela involuntarily jerked her hands back, staring in shock at the stranger in front of her. She quickly covered her mouth with her hand. She felt a tear so close to falling. 

Angela knew her wife was a donor. They had talked about it, and despite being in the medical field herself, Angela had been strongly against the idea. They had even fought for a few days, but knowing her love, once she had decided to do something, nothing could stop her, not even Angela.

Angela was reminded of that time when Jack had told her about how they had a case of heart transplant, and her wife’s heart was found to be perfect, but Angela was still too hurt at the time to even acknowledge what he had been saying. She didn’t care to be honest, and she had not expected of a possibility that someday the person who would have received her wife’s heart would seek her out. Well, it turned out that person was sitting in front of her right now, looking worried and on edge.

“My aircraft crashed in a mission. My heart was punctured and must rely entirely on a machine to keep beating, but it wouldn’t last long because it had an internal bleeding. Just when they were about to give up on me, your spouse showed up,” Fareeha continued despite the look Angela was giving her. Angela could tell Fareeha’s fear and sadness by the way her voice trembled. “I wanted to meet you immediately, but my doctor said the new transplant needed time to be probably functional. That’s why it took me almost two years to get to you…” she paused and waited, but Angela gave her no indicator whether to stop or continue.

Angela kept her stare rooted to her now-clenched hands. She knew it was rude to not look at Fareeha while she was talking, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at the face of the person who was carrying the heart of her lost love.

_ The heart that loved me. The heart that was mine. _

“When I was strong enough, I contacted my hospital and found your address. I was discharged from the army, and within two months I sold my apartment and packed everything to travel to you…”

“Why did you come here?” Angela cut her, finally looking up.

Fareeha looked stunned for a moment before recovering, “I wanted to show you my gratitude,” she said, “I thought after everything, it’s the least I could do. And if it’s okay to you, I want to make it up to you somehow, that is if you ever needed my help-”

“I don’t need your help,” Angela interrupted her again, this time standing up, walking a few steps away from her visitor. Strangely, she desperately needed some space from this stranger. It was too much to take in at the moment. Fareeha was all but patient and warm, but still Angela felt a strong dislike feeling towards the woman. It was irrational, she thought hotly to herself, to treat Fareeha like this. It was not fair, and it was cruel to hate her, but Angela couldn’t help but felt jealous. Why did this person get to live, but not her love? Why did she get to carry a part of her, but not Angela? Why did she come here and tear her wound open again? Thousands of negative thoughts pierced her mind, causing fresh tears to roll down her cheeks. And before she could stop herself, Angela sobbed loudly into her hands.

“Angela,” Fareeha was beside her, ready to reach out, but she pushed her arms away.

“Don’t!” she cried, holding up a hand between them. “Just…just leave, please. I want to be alone.”

The silence entailed was killing Angela. Fareeha did not move for the longest time, and Angela didn’t bother telling her to leave again. She continued to cry, ignoring the fact that she was breaking in front of a stranger. Then, Angela noticed movement in her blurry peripheral vision, and a second later, a handkerchief was before her eyes.

“I’ll leave. I can’t say I understand how you feel because I don’t. I just hope I didn’t offend you in anyway…” said Fareeha, patiently waiting for Angela to take her handkerchief. “I’ll be staying at The Rooster on 4 th street, room 47,” she said after Angela took the offered cloth, and then quietly, she turned on her heels and walked to the door.

Angela heard the door close and minutes later the engines of a car. Her house was quiet, and she was alone again. Angela sank to the floor. She clutched the handkerchief tightly in her palm, holding it to her heart. It smelled of dried pine. It didn’t smell like  _ her _ . She wasn’t  _ her.  _ And Angela continued to cry, tasting the salty flavor of anguish tears. Her wound had started to bleed again.       


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fareeha's POV

 

0ooo0

 

The coffee maker beeped once, and Fareeha turned it off before it made another sound. She hated the beeping from this cheap appliance the hotel had provided. After all, what did she expect? This hotel was by no means fancy one bit. In fact, Fareeha considered herself lucky they had a coffee maker for each room. Pouring herself a cup of coffee, Fareeha opened the glass door that led to a balcony. At least she liked the view from this room; it wasn’t too high up, so she had a good view of the street below.

Fareeha sipped her coffee and hummed an approval. It turned out the coffee wasn’t bad at all; not as rich as her homemade but it would suffice. Placing the cup on the railing, Fareeha took a deep breath, smiling to herself as she smelled freshly baked bread from the bakery a few stories below and the sweet fragrance of the flower shop nearby. Fareeha wouldn’t call herself a morning person, but she enjoyed waking up early once in awhile because she loved what the morning freshness brought her. 

Despite being a newcomer here, only for a few days, Fareeha liked this place already. The people were friendly, the shops were a few minutes walk, and there were lots of parks, which Fareeha found interesting since she was staying in the heart of a city, which should be about buildings and bridges, not parks. She was grateful, nonetheless; Fareeha loved parks. 

A wind rushed her face, causing her golden beads to clink softly. Fareeha stretched before taking another sip of her coffee. Her thoughts were diverted to the event several days ago, when she first met Angela. In truth, Angela’s tears were unexpected. She had thought Angela would treat her with coldness and distance like the complete stranger she was, but never had she expected Angela to cry. It had stunned Fareeha, watching the beautiful doctor break down in front of her. Even though they had only met once, at that time, Fareeha had wanted nothing more than to hold Angela close and comfort her. Angela had looked so weak and fragile the protective switch inside Fareeha was turned on in an instance. Of course, that would be inappropriate for her to touch someone without their permission, but something about Angela had pulled at her. She had to admit the first time she saw her, Fareeha felt something so familiar, like she had actually met her before, like they had actually been close.

Fareeha scratched her chest. The scar in between her breasts gave a twitch. It had happened before, itching and twitching occasionally, but it had never hurt like it did when she faced Angela. It had been mild, to the point it felt like a throb, faintly burned her skin and then disappeared only in seconds. Maybe it was because Fareeha hated seeing people getting upset, especially if she was the reason. She was disappointed that things had been going unwell between her and the blonde. Fareeha had hoped they could become friends, that Angela would give her a chance to prove her gratitude. She pondered over the reason why Angela acted that way.

_ She’s still hurting, that’s why. _

Fareeha pursed her lips when she noticed her coffee had turned cold. She raised her wrist to take a look at her watch and found it to be half past seven. She had been out here for a good twenty minute. No wonder her coffee was cold. Fareeha got inside. She went for the bathroom and dumped the rest of her coffee down the sink before making her way to her wardrobe. She needed to dress properly for her first day at work. 

Since retiring, Fareeha had not been doing anything productive. It wasn’t like she needed a job right now. Being a veteran, she wasn’t worried about money, and also, she had saved up a good chunk of money while still serving in the army. As a top-gun, specialized in flying the most impressive fighter aircraft the world had ever had, no doubt Fareeha had been paid generously. And she liked her job - a bonus. She was proud of what she had done for her country and the world. So, with that much money, she could buy a house for herself, which she had been planning on, and this beautiful city was literally her dream place to live. 

Fareeha pulled off her tank and boxers and threw them on her bed; she would wear them later on today so there would be no need to put them in the wash basket. She chose to wear khaki pants and a white tee, and a blue flannel shirt to complete her outfit. Fareeha looked herself once over in the mirror, nodding approval at her choice of clothes. This was best for her work environment. She looked down at her watch again and frowned. She got exactly 20 minutes to drive to work, and she had better hurry because she wouldn’t want Gabe to yell at her for being late on her first day.

Fareeha grabbed her keys on the coffee table and plucked her cap from its hanger, ready to head out when she heard a knock on her door. For a moment, Fareeha was terrified to think that it was Gabriel the man himself who had knocked on her door, ready to drag her late ass to work, but she quickly laughed at the thought. Gabe didn’t know this hotel nor the room she was staying at, so she was still good. But if it wasn’t Gabe, then that begged the question of who was the person on the other side of her door.

Decided to stop drawing guesses, Fareeha walked to the door. She ignored the peephole and opened the door instead. Fareeha never trusted those holes. She had watched enough horror movies to conclude that it was never safe to look through a peephole.

Greeted her was a blonde head and a pair of blue eyes. “Angela?” said Fareeha, surprised. 

“Hi,” said Angela meekly, looking up at her.

“Hi!” said Fareeha before silently kicking herself for sounding so excited. “Uh...C-come in, please,” she scrambled and stepped aside for her guest, and Angela quietly stepped inside. 

Fareeha’s face turned slightly red when she figured that Angela was staring at her unmade bed, on which were her discarded tank and boxers. She quickly jogged past the doctor and gathered her clothes. “Sorry, I was just getting dressed,” she mumbled, dumping them in her still-opened closet and shutting it closed. “You want anything to drink? I have water bottle and coffee,” Fareeha tried a smile to hide her embarrassment. 

“No, thank you.”

“Oh, okay…”

For a minute or two, they stood, awkwardly facing each other yet neither one looked in the other’s eyes.

“Is it not a good time?” Angela finally said, breaking the silence. 

“Huh? Oh, well...it’s not like that. I was...uh...” Fareeha paused, frowning. She wanted to say that Angela was more than welcome here, and that she’d love to talk, but then she also was late for work.  _ Crap! It is indeed not a good time.  _

“You were about to go somewhere. I can tell by looking at your hat and the keys in your hand,” said Angela, an amused smile on her lips.

“Oh, you’re right. In fact, I am already late for work,” Fareeha laughed, “And it’s my first day.”

“I’m terribly sorry,” Angela said, embarrassed, “I totally forgot that today is a thursday and that not everyone stays home on a weekday like me. You see, I’m on vacation...actually, I’m on a forced vacation. My boss just won’t-” Angela stopped short, probably realizing she was rambling. “Oh God! You’re late but here I am, rambling away,” she sighed.

“It’s fine. I’m late anyway,” Fareeha chuckled. And suddenly growing bolder by how awkwardly adorable Angela was, she asked,  “Actually, would you like to come with me? You’re probably not doing anything right now.”

“Pardon?”

“Would you like to come with me to work?” Fareeha asked again.

Angela looked at her, perplexed, like Fareeha had grown a second head on her neck. “I...uh, I don’t think that would be appropriate for me?” Angela said.

“Oh, this job is really not that big of a deal. It’s more like me agreed to help out a friend’s friend with his house,” said Fareeha, and when Angela still looked confused, she quickly added, “My friend has a small construction company. What he does is building people’s houses. He’s short on men so he asked me to help.”

“I see…”

“Yeah, you can come and see how we work. It’s not like you get to see a house built everyday, eh?” Fareeha laughed before realizing she was too forward. She toned her excitement down a note, scratching her ear, “That is if you want to come.”  

Fareeha was about to dwelled on her disappointment as Angela showed her hesitation at the offer, but when the doctor looked up at her with those beautiful eyes, they were twinkling with excitement and curiosity. 

“I’d love to,” said Angela, looking like a child on a Christmas morning, Fareeha thought. 

“Alright then, let’s go! And you can leave your car here. I’ll drive us there,” said Fareeha, but she stopped once she saw a look of fear swept across Angela’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“I-I don’t...You know what? You should go on ahead since you’re late. Maybe some other time…”

“What is it, Angela?” Fareeha insisted. There was definitely something wrong here.

“I only take buses,” Angela mumbled, looking quite troubled at the revelation.

Fareeha resisted the urge to ask why even though she was dying to know the reason. It sounded absurd to her. She had even wanted to say that she was a very responsible driver, but she suspected that hardly the reason why Angela refused her car. So, she kept her thoughts to herself because she didn’t want to upset the doctor again, and she was just simply so late that arguing about vehicles right now wasn’t a good idea. 

“Okay, we’ll take the bus there,” Fareeha said at last, pocketing her keys. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yep. C’mon!”

 

0ooo0

 

Fareeha eagerly gulped down water from her bottle, a hand shielding her eyes from the sun. She had been working the garden for three hours straight, only stopping to hydrate her body. She looked to her far right and smiled. Angela was so focus on her task, which was to plant sunflower seeds on the soil Fareeha had ploughed, that she seemed to ignore what Reinhardt was laughing about next to her. 

As expected, they had arrived late, and Fareeha had been chewed out by an irritated Gabriel. To Fareeha’s relief, Gabe had no problem with Angela being there with them; he even paid no mind to the doctor, only nodded a greeting at her before yelling at his men to get to work. They were to work on the owner’s garden, a man named Reinhardt, and Fareeha was impressed by how massive their client was. He must be at least 7 feet tall and could possibly lift a truck in his prime days. She had decided that she liked this person the moment he greeted her by giving her a hug that was so close to breaking her bones. 

Truth to the saying that the world did go round, Fareeha and everyone was surprised to see Angela and Reinhardt had actually known each other before when she introduced her to the old man, (Angela also suffered the same fate as everybody else as Reinhardt gave her his signatured greeting). It turned out Reinhart owned a restaurant, and Angela was his frequent patron. 

Fareeha felt an arm landed heavily on her shoulder and turned to see Jesse leaning his entire body weight on her. Jesse McCree, as he had introduced himself, was a cowboy from the west. Before working for Gabe, he was involved with an underworld gang that, as he had stated so proudly, almost got him killed once in a secret affair. After that, he followed a gold quest far north, and once again proudly exclaimed that he had almost been maimed by a grizzly bear. Fareeha doubted all of his tales were true, but she could like him, she thought. He seemed to be the type with a big bad mouth, but at the end of the day would be the one who would stay by your side.  

“Checking out on the girlfriend, eh?” Jesse said, puffing his cigarette smoke in her face. 

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Fareeha said, shrugging off his arm before resuming her work on the fence. 

“Then who might she be to ya, if ya ain’t mind ma’ asking.”

Fareeha paused, contemplating. Who was Angela to her? Was she a friend? Not yet. This was the second time they met, but they might become friends in the future, if everything went well like today. Yes, Fareeha liked that idea, of her and Angela becoming friends. “She’s a friend,” She finally said. 

“She seems nice. What she do?”

“She’s a doctor.”

Jesse let out a loud whistle. “How’d ya land yourself a doctor? Give me some tips,” he laughed, elbowing her side. 

She almost told him the story but held back in time. She didn’t think she had the right to tell every single stranger about their situation. Angela wouldn’t appreciate that for once, and Fareeha liked to think they should sit down and actually talked about it first before anything else. She still didn’t know what Angela felt about her, about this whole ordeal. And now that she thought about it, Angela might not like her at all. She probably came to see Fareeha today just to tell her she wouldn’t want her around, and that she wanted Fareeha to be out of her life for good. 

_ No, wait. If that was the case, then she wouldn’t have agreed to follow you here.  _

Fareeha shook her head. Her mind was getting ahead of herself. She should calm down and find some time to talk to the doctor. Yes, that was the best plan for now. “Get back to work, Jesse,” Fareeha said instead, ignoring his whining. 

Her eyes once again strayed to where the doctor was, who was now talking animatedly with Reinhart. She was smiling, too, and Fareeha decided she liked to see Angela smile more. Angela was a beautiful woman, even when crying, but she was even more breathtaking with a smile on her lips. 

Fareeha stopped and chastised herself before her mind could take her any further than the innocent feeling she had for Angela. Her weakness had always been women, pretty women; her mother had once told her they could be her downfall if she wasn’t careful. And it was the truth. She was embarrassed to talk about her past relationships, which had always ended up with her nursing a broken heart. The women she fell for were beautiful, all of them, but they had no heart. They took hers instead and put a hole inside her chest each time they left. She didn’t want to admit she was a shallow person, who was only after beauty and physical pleasure, but after everything that had happened in her love life, it might be the case.  

_ Don’t even go there, Fareeha. She’s not someone you can hook up with. She’s out of the question! _

But despite telling herself such, Fareeha couldn’t keep her eyes from Angela. There was something so strong about Angela that pulled her in every time they were together. It wasn’t because of her beauty alone. There was more to it, more than what Fareeha could comprehend. Angela made her feel like coming back home after a long journey, experiencing nostalgia and profound excitement at the same time. And it was odd, so odd, because they had barely met, and it terrified Fareeha sometimes. She had never been this emotional before.

“Lunch time!” one of Gabe’s men called out, and as Fareeha turned her head, she noticed two heavy bags in either of his hands. 

She looked down at her watch and it was almost 3 o’clock. Strange it was her stomach hadn’t growled once since morning. Fareeha had a big appetite. She could eat a lot in a short amount of time. She had won many eating contests in the past, and even though she was proud of that little ‘talent’, she hardly mentioned it to people. 

Fareeha put her hammer in the toolbox before going to get food.  _ Mexican food, no doubt.  _ Fareeha chuckled as she opened the carton that was handed to her. Gabriel Reyes was born and raised in a small town in the rural area of Mexico, so he had learned to cook and enjoy his native cuisine like any other Mexicans out there. Upon coming here, Reyes had complained a lot about the lack of authentic Mexican food, that Americans didn’t know about any other spices except for salt and pepper. That Fareeha agreed with him. She missed her hometown food, Egyptian specialty that her mother had mastered cooking. 

Fareeha had wanted to eat with Angela, but when she had spotted the blonde, she was sitting next to Reinhardt, food in front of them, talking animatedly. Decided that she should leave them alone, Fareeha joined Jesse and the gang instead, where they were laughing at a particular tale Jesse had made up yet again. 

Talking to these men and women, Fareeha found out they came from different circumstances. A French man was cast away at a young age and had to scramble the street for bread. A woman, who looked to be in her early thirties, ran away from home and ended up in a strip club before meeting Gabe. A young boy no older than eighteen who was orphaned by no fault of his. Fareeha had rubbed his back when he talked about the tragic deaths of his parents in a mining accident; his voice was higher than usual. By fate, Gabe found them, and now they were a team, a family, content with what they had. These people reminded Fareeha of her days in the army, where she and her comrades would sit at the fire, introducing one another, making light jokes, saying how much they missed their loved ones, and sharing a few precious cigarette packs. 

After lunch, Fareeha and the others had an hour to rest, and as most of the team went inside Reinhardt’s house for a nap (Reinhardt himself had insisted they came inside and rest), Fareeha stayed out in the garden. Jesse also stayed out, stating he disliked crammed places (that put a pout on their generous host’s face). 

“Thanks,” said Fareeha, taking a cigar offered by Jesse. She put it in her mouth before leaning in for fire from his lighter. She hummed approval as she took the first draw, “Good stuff.”

“Ya bet.”

Before Fareeha could take another puff, her cigar was taken away from between her lips by a slender hand. “No smoking. Doctor’s order,” said Angela, extinguishing said cigar by pressing its tips to the ground. “You too, Jesse,” she turned to Jesse, raising an eyebrow expectantly.

“C’mon doc,” Jesse whined, but Angela had none of it. She stood crossing her arms, looking as stern as ever. In the end, the cowboy had to put his cigar out with a pouting face. 

“You will get killed by that thing someday,” said Angela matter-of-factly, sitting down next to Fareeha.

“I don’t care. If I survive a bear attack, I can survive anything,” Jesse grumbled, taking off his hat and scratching his unruly hair. “Since ya ain’t let me smoke, I’mma take a nap,” said Jesse. He stood up, walking to the oak tree and resting his back against the trunk, hat pulled down to cover his face. 

Alone together at last, they fell into an awkward silence, or that was what Fareeha felt at the moment. The late afternoon breezes somehow deserted her nervousness, however. They gently brushed her face, caressed her hair, playing with her golden beads, and Fareeha allowed herself to relax. Hunching forward, arms rest on either knees, Fareeha’s eyes wandered to the forest before them. Trees that began to change colors stood tall and unwavering, creating a canvas of brown and yellow; dried leaves formed into piles on the earthy ground, dancing when a breeze past by occasionally. The hardwood floor of the porch they were sitting on felt a bit chilly. Fall was already here. 

She heard a sigh next to her, and Fareeha peeked a glance at her companion. She was mesmerized by the simple beauty. Angela’s cheeks slightly blushed because of the wind; her hair a golden mane, sparkling under the dying light of the sun; glassy blue eyes staring aimlessly ahead; and plump lips parted ever so slightly, breathing a sigh yet again, of content or sadness Fareeha wasn’t sure. 

“Beautiful…” Fareeha whispered before she could stop herself. She quickly looked away from the angel next to her, face growing hot. She was about to apologize for her inappropriateness, but Angela saved her from it.

“It is, isn’t it,” said Angela, eyes still looking straight ahead, towards the forest. “It’s used to be my favorite season,” she turned and smiled sadly at Fareeha. Fareeha swore her heart just did a somersault. 

“Used to?” Couldn’t find anything else to say, Fareeha commented lamely.

“Yes, used to. Now, it only reminds me of sadness.”

Fareeha wanted to ask why, but somehow she knew it would be a bad idea. Fall indeed had this serene atmosphere, but it also brought about a tinge of loneliness. She chose to stay quiet, instead. Angela was a delicate person that Fareeha needed to treat carefully if she wanted her to open up. 

“She was gone on a day like today, a warm autumn afternoon...” said Angela, now hugging her knees to her chest. “It was an accident. Her truck was hit directly at the front by a car that had lost control of its wheels. The collision broke both her arms and a leg-” Angela stopped abruptly to swallow a sob.

“You don’t have to tell me...” Fareeha said. She hesitantly reached out a hand and rubbed Angela’s back, “Not right now.”

Angela’s shoulders shook as she tried to hold back her tears, and Fareeha threw her nervousness out the window at last. She pulled the doctor to her, enveloping her smaller frame in her arms. Angela cried harder, small hands clutched her shirt tightly. Fareeha could feel wetness soak through her shirt as the woman buried her face in her chest. She wished she had a hanky, but Fareeha realized that she had already given Angela her own. 

“I-I’m sorry…” Angela managed between sobs, face still hidden away in Fareeha’s arms.

“Don’t be,” Fareeha said, holding her closer. Her heart ached watching this beautiful woman cry, and she felt utterly useless because she knew she couldn’t do anything to ease Angela’s pain. The only thing she was capable of right now was to hold Angela and hoped that somehow magically she could convey her sympathy to Angela.

Fareeha never loosened her arms. She kept holding Angela even when the sobs had finally subsided. Strangely, it felt right to hold this woman in her arms, and if Fareeha had to hold Angela like this forever, she would. After what felt like an eternity to Fareeha, Angela slowly leaned back, but her hands still rested on Fareeha’s chest.

“Thank you…” said Angela softly, pulling out Fareeha’s handkerchief to wipe her tears. “Looks like I dirtied your hankie again,” she laughed. 

“It’s fine,” said Fareeha, hands continued to rub comfort on Angela’s arms. “You can give it back to me anytime. I rarely use it.”

Pulling away completely at last, Angela stared at her, with a curious look mixed with a little of wonder in her blue eyes, and Fareeha had to resist the urge to squirm under her gaze. “You’re so kind to me, even though all I had been doing was ill-treated you,” said Angela, looking down with shame, “I’m really sorry for the way I behaved that day. It was so rude and unfair of me.”    

“Don’t worry about it. You totally had the right to feel angry. After all, you didn’t ask for any of that,” Fareeha smiled, shaking her head, “You didn’t offend me, Angela.”

“Still, that was inappropriate of me. You didn’t deserve to be...-” Angela paused, biting her lip as though she was trying to find the right things to say, and Fareeha found that adorable. “Will you forgive me?” she said at last, meeting Fareeha’s eyes with her beautiful blues, pleadingly.

_ How can you say no to that look, Fareeha? Nope, you can’t. _

Fareeha wanted to say that there was nothing to forgive, but she knew Angela wouldn’t settle for just that, so she said it instead, “Yes, I forgive you, Angela.”

And Angela gave her the most beautiful smile she had ever seen. It was so innocent and pure. It was full of hope and relief. It brightened Fareeha, and she swore she saw Angela’s face glow a soft halo, as though Fareeha was looking at an actual angel. It must have been the sunset. Yes, it must have been, she thought. 

As though realizing she was staring, Angela blushed and darted her eyes away, mumbling a ‘thank you’. She returned her gaze to the forest again, admiring the view, but Fareeha knew she was pretending. The way her ears tinged with red told a different story. Fareeha’s heart raced inside her chest, wondering if she had indeed made that beautiful woman blush. She suddenly felt giddy, wanting to unveil more of what that angel was hiding, wanting to see what other expressions she was capable of making.

“I’m glad you found me,” said Angela suddenly, eyes still gazing ahead.

“You are?”

“Yes. I know my first impression wasn’t at all good, which might make you feel the opposite, but I am glad, truly.” she turned to look at Fareeha, smiling, “It was really nice to be able to meet you, Fareeha.” 

“I’m glad,” said Fareeha, smiling back.

A particularly strong wind blew at them, messing their hair up and causing Angela to sneeze. Fareeha was about to suggest they went inside to get warm, but the look in Angela’s eyes hold her back. She looked at her longingly, with a note of uncertainty, like she wanted something from Fareeha but couldn’t say the words, or didn’t want to say it. It bugged Fareeha, and she had to ask, “Are you okay, Angela?”

Angela looked away, biting her lip, and then looked back. Her cheeks were still pink, but she didn’t look as shy as before. She looked quite anxious, as though she was trying to voice the words that were on the tip of her tongue. Fareeha was patient. Her eyes never left crystal blues, trying to encourage Angela with a gentle smile.

“I just…” said Angela mid-sentence before stopping. She reached out her hand instead, hovering it a few inches away from Fareeha’s chest. “May I?” she asked at last.

It took Fareeha a moment to understand the question, but when she did, she smiled and nodded her head, “Of course.”

Angela tentatively closed the distance by softly placing her palm against Fareeha’s left chest, where her heart was encased. She let out a soft gasp as she pressed her palm further into warm flesh. She looked up at Fareeha in wonder; her lips blossomed a bright smile. “It’s beating...” whispered Angela, covering her mouth, and as though realizing what she had just said was completely obvious, she laughed in her palm, “Of course, it’s beating!”

Fareeha didn’t say anything. Because she was speechless. Witnessing the pure joy on Angela’s face, the joy of feeling her beating heart, the joy of something so simple, gave Fareeha a poignant feeling. She was happy to see Angela happy, but she also felt pain thinking of the reason of said happiness. Fareeha felt like she could cry at that moment even though she didn’t know what could have caused the urge.

“It’s so strong,” marveled Angela, now with both hands on her chest.   

“Yeah…”

“Your heart...is beating faster…”

“I know…”

And Angela cried again that day. She didn’t hold her tears back this time. She leaned in, resting her forehead on Fareeha's shoulder, sobbing quietly. “Thank you,” said Angela, trembling in Fareeha’s arms. She clutched Fareeha’s shirt tightly. Her hands never left their place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the pace of this story is so slow? But I don't want to rush anything. I have so much fun fun writing slow-burn pharmercy hehe.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angela invited Fareeha to a soccer game. One thing let to another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know very little about soccer, and writing about it in English is tough as hell.  
> Song used: Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers.

 

Angela was dreaming, again. She knew she was. It had to be. She knew this face, this smile; she had seen them a thousand times before, in this sweet illusion. Yes, she knew it was only in her imagination; her brain had played a trick on her again, taking advantage of her broken heart to create this vision, this fantasy of the one, of _her_. And yet...

_She smiles at me. Of course, she’s always smiling. She’s close, I can feel it. Just reach out, Angela. Touch her. Hold her. This time you can’t let her go._

_Now, she reaches out. Her hand, warm and safe. She’s telling me to grab it. I know it in her eyes. If only I could…_

_“You’re not real,” I hear myself saying. “You can’t be real. You can’t...” I shake my head. I can feel tears._

_Oh._

_She looks sad. She drops her hand. Her smile disappears._

_Oh no! She’s leaving. She’s going to leave again. Like always, like always…_

_No! Please don’t leave. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to...I was scared. I was lonely. I was…_

Angela gasped for air. She was suffocating, literally. She forced her eyes open and found her face pressed hard against the surface of her pillow. She jerked her head up, scrambling into a sitting position.

She took her time to adjust to her surroundings. She was in her bedroom, dark and alone. Her comforter had been kicked to the foot of the bed; her gown felt sticky, and she shivered in her own cold sweat. Her heart was beating erratically, her mouth dried, her eyes stung, and her cheeks damp.

After what felt like hours, frozen on her bed, Angela wiped her face carelessly with her hands. She reached for her phone and checked the time. It was almost 4 in the morning. Wiping the last remnant of her tears away, Angela got off her bed. She didn’t bother entertaining the thought of going back to sleep. She gave up on it a long time ago.

Angela turned her bedside-table lamp on, squinting her eyes at the sudden harsh light. She reminded herself again to change the fluorescent bulb into something softer. As the lamp cast its light on her spacious bedroom, Angela’s gaze automatically dropped on a piece of clothing next to her. A red and white baseball Tee, faded by time or maybe of being used so frequently, laying on the bed, so close to where Angela slept every night. Instinctively, Angela reached out to touch the shirt, pulling it to her chest. It was soft and familiar. It calmed her down whenever she was upset or scared. It made it easier for Angela to get by a particularly rough day. Angela glided her fingers over the letters printed on the front of the shirt, cracking a smile. _Red Sox_ , her wife’s favorite baseball team. She had never missed one match. She was a big baseball fan, and it had always put a smile on Angela’s face whenever she listened to her love rambling about the sport. Angela couldn’t care less about baseball, but the way her wife’s eyes lit up every time she talked about her team had made Angela fall madly in love with her over again.

Angela had not needed the shirt to sleep through the night for a long while until recently. The appearance of a particular person, who had turned Angela’s life upside down, in a good or bad way she still couldn’t decide, had caused the need to be in contact with this shirt, _her_ shirt.

Fareeha Amari, even her name was intense to Angela. She loved the name. She loved how it sounded on her tongue. She hesitated to say it, however, and she didn’t understand why. Or maybe she knew the reason for her hesitation but didn’t want to admit.

Fareeha was a wonderful person, that she knew. She was kind and warm; Angela learned about it by the way Fareeha held her in her arms that time when she was breaking down. She was strong; Angela had observed the way she carried the long and heavy wooden bars, bars needed to build the fence. She did it so easily. Fareeha was attractive; that fact Angela bet anyone could say just from the first time seeing her. Beautiful tan skin, charming smile with teeth as white and shiny as pearl, eyes as expressive as the ocean, and lips as plump as a cherry in late April. Also, Fareeha had such a great figure, and Angela wasn’t saying this as a doctor. She presumed soldiers her class were supposed to be fit. And, it didn’t just end there. Even Fareeha’s tattoos looked great on herself, and Angela never was a fan of tattooed people to say from the start.

It had been almost two weeks since the last time they saw each other at Reinhardt’s house, and ever since then, Lena and Mei had insisted on meeting Fareeha. Yes, Angela had told her best friends about Fareeha and the circumstances that led them to each other. Mei had taken it calmly, but Lena, being the woman child she was, had bounced up and down in excitement. That was why Angela hesitated to invite Fareeha to Lena’s monthly soccer game despite the begging from both Lena herself and Mei. She feared her best friend might spook the woman with her trademark enthusiasm.

It wasn’t solely because of Lena, however. A tiny voice inside Angela whispered in her ears that it would be inappropriate to ask Fareeha. It told her to be cautious, to not getting too close, to not open up to her even though all Angela wanted was to know more about Fareeha. Because Fareeha was a nice person, she simply wanted them to become friends. That was it. Nothing more. But that voice kept whispering, forcing her to see a vision of her and Fareeha being more than _just friends,_ and Angela wanted none of that. She wasn’t ready. Not now, not ever.

_You don’t even know if she’s gay._

Angela shook her head. She shouldn’t let her mind wander into those places, where dangerous thoughts resided. She brought the shirt to her lips instead and gave it a feather-liked kiss before laying it down on the bed again. She smoothed its edges lovingly. At least, touching _her_ old clothes brought Angela temporary peace, enough to sustain her through a possible rough day ahead. Already Angela could hear the screaming and yelling coming from both doctors and patients.

It was no stranger to her, the reality of an emergency room, but she always wished she had more time to prepare for what was to expect every morning. Even after over ten years on the job, (she thought she should have been used to the horror by now), Angela sometimes still couldn’t stop her stomach from squelching at the sight of too much blood and suffering every day.

 

0ooo0

 

Despite telling herself repeatedly that she shouldn’t move too fast, Angela ended up inviting Fareeha to Lena’s soccer game. And as a result, she was sitting on the bleachers, sandwiched between Mei and her date, Fareeha Amari.

Angela forcefully reprimanded herself for considering Fareeha as a ‘date’. This was to introduce Fareeha to everyone- No! That sounded even more inappropriate. It was because Mei and Lena had insisted to meet her, and that it wasn’t because Angela wanted to show Fareeha off or anything like that.

“It’s been a while since I came to a soccer game,” Fareeha smiled, “Usually I’m the player, so it’s nice sitting on the bleachers once in a while.”

“You play?” asked Angela.

“Yeah, in college and during my time in the army. Not professional of course,” Fareeha laughed, “It’s an affordable sport. All you need is a ball and couple of fellas and you’re all set.”

“This is not professional, either,” Mei spoke up, leaning her head forward to look at Fareeha. “This is like an out-of-work thing, where we and a couple of the hospital personnel gather together and have fun. It was Lena’s idea, “Mei paused to gesture her hand toward Lena, who was standing at the touch line, talking with Aleks. “We’ve formed a team and competed against other hospitals for some time now. We call it friendly competition,” she laughed, looking amused, and Angela knew why. Although friendly it was, there were quite a few who would take the game seriously, to the point they would do training every night after work. Lena was one of them.

“Wow! Sounds like a lot of fun,” said Fareeha, “I didn’t know hospitals had this kind of activity for employees.”

“You thought of us as boring human beings whose interests revolve only around human anatomy?” Mei teased.

“Well, not exactly. I thought of you guys as impenetrable geniuses,” laughed Fareeha, who then turned to look at Angela, full of interest. “I guess it’s not quite like so,” she said more to Angela.  

“Oh, you’re right about the genius part. You’re sitting right next to her,” said Mei, giggling when Angela elbowed her.

Angela felt her face grow warm when Fareeha laughed. Her laugh had this low timbre, one that was warm but also could send shiver down one’s spine. It was infectious because Angela found herself smiling along. She quickly cleared her throat and tried to find something else to divert the attention. Lucky for her, Lena was walking towards them, but by the look on her face, Angela knew something wasn’t right.

“Lena, what’s wrong?” Angela asked.

“Eric can’t make it tonight. That bugger! I told him not to skip lunch, yet he did again,” Lena grumbled, looking utterly annoyed.

“Is he okay?”

“He’ll be fine. Said he’d taken some medicines. Where is Jack?” Lena then asked for their boss, a certain glint flashed in her eyes.

“Right here, kid. What do you need?” Jack said, sitting down next to Fareeha. Angela was surprised he would take the time to come since he had told them earlier that he had a report to go over. Fareeha looked startled a bit but then recovered by reaching out for a handshake with the old man.

“We thought you wouldn’t come, Jack,” said Mei, handing him a pack of chips.

“I finished the report. Now, what do you need, Lena,” Jack asked again.

“I need you to go change. Eric can’t make it tonight, so we need a substitute.”

“No can do, kid. I’m retired.”

“Oh c’mon, pop. You don’t have to play, just be there is enough. We will be disqualified if we can’t find a substitute,” Lena whined and groaned even louder when Jack shook his head still.

“Can’t help you, kid. My back won’t allow me. Sorry,” said Jack nonchalantly, shoving a palm of chips into his mouth.

Lena slapped a hand on her forehead, cursing in Scots that made no sense to others. Angela grew worried. If they couldn’t find someone to play for Eric, they would be out tonight for sure, worse it could hurt them this entire season. And what Angela dreaded the most was the fact that Fareeha was here. She had probably cancelled her own plans for Angela just to show up here with no games to watch. Angela glanced over at Fareeha and saw the woman was trying her best not to look too awkward, but the close and open of her hands gave her out. Angela was about to apologize to Fareeha when Mei spoke up.

“Fareeha, it might be too much to ask, but can you help us out? You played soccer before, right?”

“Me? Ah yes, I still do, but…well, you see, I know nothing of your strategy...” Fareeha said, rubbing her neck, a sign of nervousness Angela had learned by now. “And more importantly, I have no clothes and shoes…” she smiled sadly.

“How tall are you, kid?” Jack asked suddenly.

“6’1, I think,” said Fareeha. Angela’s eyes widened. She knew Fareeha was tall, but she didn’t expect her to be _that_ tall.

“Shoe size?”

“9.5.”

“Well, this is uncanny but my old clothes and shoes might suit you just fine,” said Jack, smiling, nodding at Lena.

“Oh, thank god!” Lena exclaimed happily. She didn’t hesitate to grab Fareeha’s hand, already pulling her out of her seat. “C’mon, love! We don’t have much time left.”

“Lena! We still don’t know if Fareeha wants to...” Angela quickly interrupted her friend, but Fareeha put a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s okay, Angela. I want to,” said Fareeha, smiling at her before being dragged away by an overzealous Lena.   

Angela was tempted to go after them, to make sure Lena’s enthusiasm wasn’t causing any troubles. She knew Lena too well to not leave the woman alone for more than twenty minutes. That girl was a trouble source if you ask Angela. It was a miracle she had Emily to subdue her.

“Don’t worry, Angela. I have Aleks watching over. Now, why don’t you take a bag of chips and enjoy the game?” Mei assured her, tossing said bag on her lap.

They didn’t have to wait long. Ten minutes later, Lena and Fareeha walked back into view, with an Aleks in tow. Their jerseys were the hospital’s colors: black, white, and orange, with its logo at the front. Angela stared intently at Fareeha. She had her hair pulled into a ponytail, showing off her long neck. Now that the hair was out of the way, Angela could see her tattoo in full view. It was that of a falcon spreading its wings across the back of that tan neck. As if she could feel Angela’s eyes on her, Fareeha turned around to face them. She smiled and waved at her (or at all of them, Angela did not care), and Angela had the night air to thank for cooling her flushed cheeks.

“Who is that?” asked a voice to her right, and Angela turned to see Dr. Satya Vaswani making herself comfortable next to Mei.

“Angela’s _friend_ ,” replied Mei, deliberately stressing out the word, and Angela rolled her eyes at her friend. She and Lena had been acting like high schoolers ever since Angela introduced them to Fareeha.

“Oh,” Satya only raised an elegant eyebrow before starting on her pizza. “She’s coming this way,” she said suddenly.

Angela turned to the field and saw Fareeha walking up to them. She was about to ask what was wrong when Fareeha presented her phone and wallet in front of her face.

“Will you hold them for me? The shorts have no pockets,” said Fareeha.

On instinct, Angela looked down at Fareeha’s shorts. Even though the length was made appropriate for such a sport, the shorts cut a bit higher over the knees, showing more of Fareeha’s skin than Angela had ever seen before. And boy did them legs look firm and lean. Fareeha must have never skipped leg day.

Caught in a trance, Angela only jerked away when she felt a pinch on her side. Looking back at Fareeha’s face, she remembered too late that Fareeha was still waiting for her answer. “Oh yes, of course!” she said in a gasp, hurriedly taking the phone and wallet, too embarrassed to look into Fareeha’s eyes this time.

“Thanks,” Fareeha grinned. Lucky for Angela, Fareeha didn’t seem to notice her staring earlier as she turned and ran down the stairs back to the field.   

“Dr. Zeigler, you bad girl,” Mei teased while Satya chuckled gently. “You should know better than to stare at someone’s crotch so intently,” she said, covering her mouth.

Angela gasped. She opened her mouth and then closed, too flabbergasted to form a word. She licked her sudden dry lips, turning her entire body to Mei. “Mei, honey, I wasn’t staring at her crotch. I was just-” Angela stopped mid-sentence. What was she going to say here? That she was actually admiring Fareeha’s perfectly-shaped legs? That was even worse. “I was only checking if her shorts did have no pocket at all,” she finally said, knowing too well it was such a lame excuse.

“Sure, Angie,” Mei chuckled.

“Cut it out, girls. The match has started,” Jack grunted, annoyed or embarrassed in her behalf Angela wasn’t sure, and she didn’t want to know either.

Angela opted to shut up before she embarrassed herself even further and watch their team. Even though not a sport person herself, Angela knew enough about soccer to understand the rules. And apparently, Fareeha played as the centre forward, Lena the second striker because she was agile, Lucio played defense, and Aleks was the goal keeper. Their team seemed to be on attack this match, and Angela could see why. They had lost two matches in a row this season, and to be able to go further, it was a win-or-nothing for them. Though she had never watched Fareeha play before, Angela was positive she would help them win this match. Fareeha radiated confidence and leadership. Just her being there could light up the spirit of the team, at least it was what Angela felt right now.  

 

0ooo0

 

Fareeha panted, bracing her hands on her knees. It was a close shot, she almost had it if it wasn’t for the opponent’s good goalkeeper. Even though she didn’t like it, she must admit their opponents were very good at defense. Every attempt her teammates had made to pass her the ball was foiled by the other team’s defenders. Their strategy was to swamp Fareeha, to isolate her from the rest of her team. Fareeha had realized this in the first twenty minutes of the match. Every time she was quick enough to catch the ball, she was instantly crowded by at least three defenders. They either lured her into the offside position or roughened her up to steal the ball. It wasn’t a fair play per se, but it was effective to say the least.

“Bloody wankers!”

Fareeha heard Lena swear. She could see the woman’s frustration on her face. Lena wasn’t treated much better than Fareeha either, if not worse. Because she was fast, their opponents chose to be violent towards her. They would do anything to get her off the ball, meaning they wouldn’t hesitate to charge or tackle her, and they had been doing it so well, never committed a foul. Looking at Lena’s batter clothes, Fareeha couldn’t help but cringe.

_This isn’t working._

They needed new tactics if they wanted to penetrate the defense. Fareeha looked over to the digital clock at the end of the pitch.

 _3 minutes to first half_.

“Lena,” Fareeha called out, “Fall back and play defense for now,” she ordered and was happy to see Lena nodding her agreement.

They stationed lower this time, dragging on their control of the ball instead of going assault. The plan was to confuse their opponent until the end of first half. If they lasted until the blow of the referee without losing a goal, they would get fifteen minutes to draw out a new strategy.

As expected, the referee blew his whistle, signaling the end of first half. Both team retreated to their respective touchlines. Lena threw Fareeha a wet towel, and she used it to wipe her sweaty face.

“We need a new plan,” Lucio said, gulping down his water.

“Any ideas?” Aleks asked, and Lena looked to Fareeha.

“Alright, this might sound a bit risky, but I have done this before and it worked,” Fareeha said, “We will fake defense the first fifteen minutes, both to confuse the opponents and learn their pattern, though I don’t think they will change tactics since they had us the first half. Usually, when we fall back to defense, the opponents will take it as their chance to attack, hence they will loosen their own defense, and that is when we strike. Now this is the risky part and requires a lot of skills: we will let them take the ball only and only when they reach the midfielders…” she paused to look at their respective players, Jeff and Todd. They nodded. “Let them tread close to the penalty area, close but not too close, and this is when we need someone with skills to steal back the ball,” Fareeha paused again, looking at her team, waiting expectantly.

“I’ll do it,” said Lucio, “Trust in me. I guarantee I’ll steal back the ball for us.”  

“Okay, that’s great! Once you got the ball, either you lead it back to Jeff and Todd, or you can lead it yourself to Lena and Jen. That depends on you and the opponents’ formation. And Lena, you will be the forward this time. Let them think you’re still the second striker and I’m the forward. They have targeted me, so let me be the bait. Once you get the ball from Lucio, they will think you would pass it to me and will rush me. That is your chance to use your speed and score yourself. Can you do that?” Fareeha asked seriously. It would be a 50-50 chance. If Lena couldn’t, then she had no choice but to abort the plan.

“Yes, I can do that,” to her relief, Lena said firmly.

“Perfect! We will play the 5-4-1 formation. Remember Lucio, you play the key position in this match. Once you get the ball you have to be quick, by quick I mean real quick, and pass it to either Lena or Jen. We call that a surprised assault, one the opponent can’t predict. Any questions?” asked Fareeha, and when no one said anything, she nodded, “Alright team, let’s play real soccer!”

They cheered and bumped fists together. Before joining the team, Fareeha looked up towards the bleachers. She instantly met Angela’s blue eyes as though the blonde had been watching her from the start. The thought gave Fareeha a source of energy, knowing Angela was counting on her, cheering on her. She gave Angela a small but firm smile, telling her with her eyes that she would win this game. She would win for her.

 

0ooo0

 

Angela felt her heart beat a little bit faster when Fareeha smiled at her. It was a smile full of determination and pride. And at that moment, Angela once again hesitantly admitted to herself that Fareeha was oh so very sexy when she did that. It was a crime to look that good all the time, Angela thought.

Angela and the others had watched the team anxiously from the beginning of the match. It was obvious that their team had been blocked in every direction. No matter what they did, the opponents always found a way to stopped them. Their team did have control of the ball most of the time, but the success rate in scoring was too low. One was because their opponents had such a talented goal keeper, as talented as Aleks if Angela dared say so, and two, their team was being treated so roughly by the other team and quite unfairly by the referee. Many times, she and the others had gasped out loud when Lena was tackled to the ground, knees scratched, or when Fareeha was grabbed and yanked violently by their opponents. Angela had almost let out a cry when Fareeha miraculously dodged a punch in the face by one of the defenders’ elbow. As a doctor herself, Angela was sure that punch could break a nose or a tooth.

She bit her lip. She was afraid her team might get hurt before they could score any goal at this rate. And worse, what if Fareeha got injured? She wasn’t supposed to play in the beginning. Angela was the one who had invited her, and if there was anything to happen to Fareeha, she couldn’t forgive herself.

_I knew this was a bad idea._

“Calm down, Angela,” said Mei, grabbing her hand gently. “I can tell they have come to a new plan. We will win. We have Fareeha,” she winked and smiled.

Angela wanted to believe her, but if winning meant Fareeha, or Lena, or all of them got hurt, then she didn’t want them to win at all. “I don’t know, Mei. They might get hurt seriously,” she said.

“Well, I don’t think the referee will let that happen, although he’s indeed been turning a blind eye to most of the tackling. And don’t you worry too much about Fareeha. She’s a soldier, is she not?”

“Used to be. She’s retired,” Angela said.

“Well, it makes no difference,” said Mei as she put an arm around Angela’s shoulders, “She’s tough, Angela. A few scratches are nothing to her. They’ll be fine, I’m sure.” Mei said firmly.

“I hope so…”

As Angela watched on, their team had indeed had a new plan. They played differently, slow and careful, as if on defense. The formation had also changed. There was only Fareeha left at the front, Lena had retreated lower alongside Jen, and their midfielders had now played as defenders.

“Defense? What are they planning here?” Jack wondered out loud. “They’ve been dancing with the ball for ten minutes now, unless…” he trailed off and watched on, and Angela saw the realization on his face moment later. “Clever kids. I wonder whose idea it was, clever but dangerous,” he chuckled, humming approval.

“What are they doing, Jack?” Angela quickly asked.

“Fareeha is the bait...”

“What?” Angela exclaimed, “That is not okay! Jack, we have to stop-”

“Relax, Angela. They’re faking defense so they can jump-attack when the chance comes,” Jack laughed.

“What does it have to do with Fareeha being the bait?” it was Mei’s turned to asked.

“Fareeha will draw attention from the defenders so that Lena or Jen can score when the time comes.”

Angela grew quiet at that. That explained why there was only Fareeha as forward. Paying closer attention, she noticed how the opponent defenders seemed to crowd around Fareeha, leaving her no space to run.

“Now, if I’m not mistaken, our team will let the opponent think they get control of the ball, then one of the kids will steal the ball back and do the rush-assault,” Jack continued, nodding to himself, “I’ve seen this strategy before, from an old acquaintance of mine.”

Angela couldn’t explain how, but she knew it was Fareeha’s idea, and she couldn’t help but be proud of her. Fareeha was not only strong and charming, but also very clever. She had seen through their opponent’s weakness and used it as a way out. Looking at the way she pointed here and there, Fareeha could be easily mistaken as the team captain. Well, to be fair their team had not had a captain ever since Jack retired.

Just as Jack had predicted, the other team got the ball and started to tread towards the penalty area. Angela was already hovering over her seat, too anxious to sit still as one of the opponent players pass the ball to another, getting closer and closer to their goal pitch. Jack’s mumbling of ‘not too close, not too close’ next to her didn’t help either. Angela turned her attention to Fareeha and noticed there were now only her and one other defender left at the other team’s goal pitch. Fareeha’s eyes glued to the ball at the other end of the field, watching intently what was playing out, waiting.

The audience suddenly gave a loud gasp, breaking Angela’s stare on Fareeha. She turned back to see the ball was now being led by Lucio. He deftly maneuvered his way pass two opponent players and rushed towards their midfielders, but he was halted by two other players coming from nowhere. That didn’t discourage Lucio as he quickly passed the ball to his right, where Jeff, in an instant, appeared and caught it with ease.

Angela watched with bated breath as Jeff ran past another player from the other team and shouted for Lena. He then performed a long pass to Lena, who had already rushed herself towards the goal pitch; Lena caught the ball and bolted ahead.

Angela could now see Jack’s point. The other team’s defenders started rushing back to their respective penalty area, but most of them targeted Fareeha. They ran towards her, and Fareeha started running too, but instead of coming for the goal keeper, she ran to the far corner, tricking their opponents into thinking she would perform a corner hit.

Lena was now as free as a bird in the sky. There was only one player who was chasing her at the time, and he was quickly being left behind by Lena’s inhuman speed. Another defender blocked her, but she quickly passed the ball to Jen. Jen ran the ball for a few feet before passing it back to Lena.

Now was the time, Angela knew it. Lena was inside the penalty area and in the perfect spot to shoot. The other defenders were too caught up with Fareeha now to stop Lena, and even if they figured out the plan, it was too late. Angela heard her heartbeats in her ears, and everything slowed down to focus only on Lena and the ball in her grasp. And then, Lena struck. The ball flew from her foot towards the goal pitch with fearsome speed, ready to puncture the fishnet. But it didn’t. In the last second, the ball was punched away by a pair of gloved hands. It rebounded and flew away towards the goal line.

Angela heard the crowd roar in anger, Jack swear next to her, Mei and Satya gasp, and Lena, she fell to her knees, placing her hands on her head. Angela quickly turned to Fareeha, who was also on her knees, probably had just been tackled down by the other players, looking on with disappointment at the scene before her.

 

0ooo0

 

“Lena, it’s ok,” Fareeha said softly, pulling the younger woman up by the arm. “C’mon, bub. It’s not over yet,” she smiled, patting Lena’s back.

“I’m sorry,” Lena mumbled, wiping her nose.

“It’s not your fault. Listen, they might have figured out our plan by now and will probably target you instead of me, so be careful, ok?” Fareeha said, “I’ll go alert the others, you get to position.”

The save earlier had earned them a corner kick, and so all players gathered around the opponent’s goal pitch. Fareeha was turned around by a hand on her shoulder. It was Aleks.

“Lucio and I can do the goal kick pretty well. We practiced. You want to try it?” Aleks asked.

Fareeha quickly did the math in her head. It was a risky move, one that could give the opponents the ball for free if not executed carefully, but if it succeeded, it would save them so much more time and effort. Fareeha looked at the clock again and they had approximately 7 minutes left. Time was running out on them. “You sure?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Okay, let’s do that next,” said Fareeha, and the taller woman nodded before jogging back to her goal. Fareeha then jogged to where Lucio was and told him the new plan.  

It wasn’t a surprise when their corner kick didn’t score. It was a very difficult shot, one required skills and a bit of luck, and with the opponent’s goal keeper in the way, there was no way they could make it.

Just as planned, when the ball was passed back to Aleks, she quickly walked back a few steps before running forward and gave the ball a powerful kick. The ball flew high up in the air, going for a few yards before toppling down. True to Aleks’s words, Lucio did catch the ball neatly using his chest before taking complete control over it with his feet. He immediately rushed forward, passing the ball to Todd. The midfielder caught it and then made a long pass to Jen.

As expected, Lena was instantly swamped, forcing Jen to slow down and find a way out. Fareeha took this chance to run towards her, signaling the woman to pass her the ball. Jen did, and now Fareeha rushed forward with the ball. She faced a defender, but she swiftly maneuvered her way pass his grasp and kept running to the goal pitch. There, she met not one, not two, but three other players, ready to tackle her.

 _I can’t pass them like this_.

Fareeha couldn’t afford to lose the ball either. Their time almost up, and if their opponents got the ball now, they would drag it out until the end of the match. Suddenly, in the corner of her eyes, she caught sight of Lucio a few yards behind her. Fareeha clenched her jaws, praying to her gods that Lucio would understand her next move. She only threw him a glance as she halted her movement and kicked the ball behind her. Fareeha was pleasantly surprised to see Lucio caught the ball she had just blindly passed to him neatly.

Their opponents were clearly in shock at such a move, and using that as her advantage, Fareeha broke her way through that human wall. Fareeha rushed ahead and met another two opponents, blocking in between her and the goal keeper. She had a clean and perfect shot, but to be able to make it, she needed to kick the ball while it was airborne. No one had ever been able to stop Fareeha’s volley. She needed someone to pass her the ball right now. And there he was, Lucio, sprinting forward on her left.

Fareeha turned her back to the goal and shouted to Lucio, hoping he could see the opportunity. And, so he did. Without missing a beat, Lucio made a beautiful long curved pass over to her, and Fareeha jumped up. She leaned back, arching her lower body, legs raised high. Her foot collided with the ball so hard she felt a numbness spreading over her entire leg.

Fareeha fell, hitting her back hard on the grassy ground. And then, she heard a booming sound, coming from the audience, coming from her teammates, coming from everywhere and everyone. She had only sat up when a body from nowhere came at her, tackling her back to the ground. It was Lena.

“Goal! You did it, love! You did it!” Lena shouted, hugging and kissing Fareeha’s head.

“No. _We_ did it!” Fareeha laughed.

 

0ooo0

 

The moment the ball came puncturing at the fishnet, Angela jumped up, screaming. Jack had raised both of his arms in the air, laughing out loud, and Mei and Satya hugging each other in delight. She watched and laughed as their team members jumped on Lucio, Lena, and Fareeha, making a human tower. Angela wanted so badly to join them, to celebrate the goal, but the match wasn’t over yet, and she wished it was so she could run down and hug Fareeha. As if her wish was the universe’s command, the referee blew his whistle, signaling the end of the match, and Angela jumped again, running down the stairs.

Fareeha was standing in the circle of their team members, laughing and silly dancing. Angela was close to her. Just a few more feet and she could jump in Fareeha’s arms. But when she was close enough to meet Fareeha’s eyes, Angela stopped. She slowed down into a walk, and when she was within reach with their team, Angela held out a hand to Fareeha instead.

“Congratulations! You were amazing out there,” Angela smiled.

Fareeha stared at her hand, dumbfounded, and then she broke into a low chuckle. “Come on, Angela. I expected more than this. Come here,” said Fareeha, opening her arms, clearly wanting a hug.

Angela hesitated. She was suddenly and painfully shy. She knew she was blushing nicely right now.

“Are you afraid she might stink? Trust me Angela, we all stink, and you’re not getting out of it. You’re hugging everyone tonight,” Lena snorted loudly.

“Honestly, Lena,” Angela swatted Lena on the arm. She slowly moved in to hug Fareeha at last. Angela couldn’t help but inhaled her scent. It was strong but far from unpleasant; in fact, it was the most comforting scent Angela had ever smell. Aside from the smell of dirt and grass, and sweat, even though faint, Angela could detect dried pines, warm sand, and earthy herbs.

_Like before…_

Angela was acutely aware of strong arms around her waist, and they never loosened, as though their owner wasn’t ready to let go. Angela wasn’t either. She liked this feeling, being hold, being close to a warm body. She ignored the fact that there was still a crowd around them and held Fareeha tighter, even buried her face in her shoulder. Even though what she was doing might be wrong and inappropriate, and her mind was screaming at her to let go of Fareeha immediately, Angela’s heart told her it was right. _This_ was right.

Just when Angela was about to let go, another body collided into hers, and massive arms from nowhere wrapped around her and Fareeha. She heard Fareeha let out an ‘oof’ before laughing out loud. Aleks had come and joined their hug, sandwiching her to Fareeha. And a few moment later, more and more bodies wrapped around them, Lena, Lucio, and the rest of their team. They stood hugging and laughing together, and Angela giggled in Fareeha’s chest. She wondered about how to escape this sweat-smelling human bodies of a blanket and decided that she didn’t care really. Angela loved it.

 

0ooo0

 

Fareeha gulped a mouthful of beer and smiled as Lena was talking animatedly about the game they had just won. They had moved to a bar in the city that serve the cheesiest pizza and barreled beer. Jack, Angela’s boss, had told them to eat and drink to their heart’s content as he would take care of the bill. It was to celebrate their victory, he had said. And so here she was, sitting at the bar, drinking beer and sharing a giant pizza with Angela and the others.

“I gotta say that combo of you and Lucio was badass. Just badass,” Lena exclaimed, “And the back-kick, how did you know he was behind? How did you guys work it out?” she asked Fareeha.

Fareeha shrugged, “I don’t really know. I saw him and I just thought ‘yeah, showing off a little bit doesn’t hurt’, and I just did it,” she said casually, intended to make a joke, and to her pleasure, everyone laughed.

“But really, that volley was awesome!” said Lucio, “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.”

“Yeah! It was so cool!” Lena chirped, “You gotta teach me, Fareeha!”

“Sure! If you have the time for it,” Fareeha smiled, biting on her pizza. She chuckled when Lena squealed, jumping up and down in excitement.

Fareeha looked around the bar, searching for a blonde doctor. She and Angela had taken the bus here with the others, and during the ride, she was too occupied with an excited team to even spare Angela any words. She wanted to talk to her. Luckily, Fareeha found Angela at the pool table, watching Jack play, probably waiting for her turn. Fareeha stood up and made her way towards Angela, not forgetting to grab an extra beer with her.

“Hey,” Fareeha said as she moved closer to the doctor.

“Hi,” Angela turned and gave her a smile, cheeks flushed slightly, probably because of the alcohol.

“I brought you beer,” she said, handing Angela a glass of beer.

Angela giggled as she took the glass. “Thank you. I just happen to run out,” she said, pointing to her empty glass on a coffee table nearby.

“I see you play pool. Are you any good?”

“Oh, I’m okay. Not too bad, not too good,” Angela replied, sipping her beer. Fareeha noticed a lipstick stain on the rim of the glass. It was plum pink, and Fareeha liked it.

“Show me?” Fareeha said and was pleased to receive a nod from Angela.

Jack suddenly groaned out loud, and Fareeha turned to see him missing a pocket by just an inch.

“That was a good aim, Jack. You just lack some luck,” Angela chuckled before moving to the other side of the table, cue in hands. “My turn,” she smiled smugly to herself.

If Angela said she was ‘okay’ at pool, it was an understatement of the century because watching Angela right now, Fareeha would have thought she was a professional if she didn’t know her already. Every shot she made with her cue hit home perfectly, and her posture…. Well, where should Fareeha start? The way she leaned over the table, so graceful and elegant; or when she glided her hands and fingers along the cue like a lover’s hands. And her face, so beautiful, and dared Fareeha say, sexy when Angela seemed to ignore everything and everyone to focus only on her aim.

“Wow, you call that ‘okay’?” said Fareeha, clapping her hands at Angela’s hidden talent.

“Maybe it’s more than just ‘okay’,” Angela shrugged, moving back to where Fareeha was standing. “Hmm, this one’s tricky,” she mumbled to herself.

Fareeha gulped, feeling her face grow hot when Angela bent low on the table, accidentally (or intentionally, Fareeha had no idea) presented a full view of her backside to Fareeha. Her baby-blue skinny jeans hugged her curve snuggly, to the point it would be a sin to be that perfect, and Fareeha couldn’t stop her already-buzzed mind from imagining naughty scenes involving the beautiful doctor.

 _Nice bum there,_ Fareeha thought before shaking her head physically. The sudden movement caused her dizziness, and Fareeha had to take a step back to steady herself. She decided to sit down on the cushion behind them, resting her head in her palm.

“Are you okay?”

She heard Angela near her, and when Fareeha opened her eyes, she was assaulted with vast blue. Angela’s eyes bored into hers, and for a moment Fareeha wanted to just reach out and pull her in.

_Shut up, Fareeha. It’s the alcohol talking._

“I will not shut up until you tell me how you feel,” said Angela, throwing her a look of disapproval.

“No, no, not you. I mean me…I-I didn’t mean to tell you to shut up,” Fareeha groaned when another headache hit her hard. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled, holding her head again.

“Did you hit your head during the game?” Angela ignored her apologize. She grabbed Fareeha’s chin and pulled her face up for inspection. “Fareeha, answer me!”

“I didn’t. I’m okay. I just had a little too much to drink.”

“Honestly! How much did you drink to get like this?” Angela used her doctor tone with her again, and despite having a hammering headache, Fareeha managed a chuckle. “Oh, so you still can laugh?” Angela huffed, “Sit here and don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back,” she said before standing up and left.

Angela returned shortly with a wet towel and a glass of water. She handed Fareeha the water, and while she was gulping down water, Angela wiped her face with the towel. Water did wonder to her throat, and the cold towel gradually eased away her headache. Fareeha put the glass down and lean back to rest her head on the back of the cushion, eyes closed. Angela continued to wipe her face diligently, and Fareeha felt like a useless baby at that moment. Embarrassed with her current state, Fareeha dared not look at the doctor. She was grateful Jack had somehow disappeared, leaving them alone together.

“How do you feel, now?” Angela asked again.

“Much better. Thank you.”

“Let’s get you home,” said Angela, standing up.

“I’m okay now, Angela. My head stops hurting,” Fareeha quickly said, sitting up, and she was telling the truth. The headache had miraculously gone. “I’m fine,” she said, and as if to prove her point, she put a hand over her chest, “Promise!”

Angela looked at her skeptically, but finally gave in with a sigh. “Fine. But no more drinking, alright?”

“I won’t drink anymore if you do me a favor,” said Fareeha, standing up and smiling.

“What is it?”

“Will you?”

Angela narrowed her eyes at her, biting her lip. Fareeha found that utterly adorable. “Okay. What is it?” she said at last.

Fareeha smiled, raising her hand, “Dance with me?”

“Oh, you…” said Angela good-naturedly. She nodded and put the towel down before placing her hand in Fareeha’s palm.  

As if on cue, the classic-rock song that had been playing ended, and someone had picked another song on the jukebox. This time it was slower, softer, and Fareeha knew this song. It was one of her favorite.

“I love this song,” said Angela, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Me too,” Fareeha smiled. She put a hand on Angela’s waist, and the other she used to hold Angela’s smaller hand.

_Oh, my love…_

_My darling,_

_I’ve hungered for your touch,_

_A long, lonely time…_

Together they swayed to the music. Even though they were close, only a few inches apart, Fareeha wanted to pulled Angela just a bit closer. She wanted to feel her warmth, feel her arms around her neck, feel the weight of her head on her shoulder. She knew she shouldn’t, however. She and Angela were friends, and friends shouldn’t be _that_ intimate.

To Fareeha’s surprise, Angela shifted closer, close enough to breath in her ear. The hand on her shoulder was now replaced by an arm around her neck.

“Is this okay?” Angela asked softly. Her voice had a shiver in it, as though she herself wasn’t even sure of what she was doing.

“Yes,” Fareeha answered firmly, and to not discourage Angela, she tightened her arm on her small waist, pulling her closer to her body. She was elated to feel Angela’s head on her shoulder. This was what she had wished for just a moment ago.

“You were amazing tonight. We won thanks to you,” Angela said, her voice muffled in Fareeha’s broad shoulder.

“It was a team effort.”

“Still, you were really amazing.”

“Thank you.”

_And time goes by so slowly._

_And time can do so much,_

_Are you still mine?_

_I need your love,_

_I need your love,_

_God speed your love to me..._

They fell into a comfortable silence, just swaying to the love song. Fareeha took the time to enjoy Angela’s closeness. She had held Angela before, but everytime felt different and more exciting to her. Angela’s sweet scent was still the same, but this time Fareeha detected a faint trace of alcohol. That didn’t foiled anything; in fact, Fareeha thought it made Angela even more irresistible. She wished she could go to sleep with this scent next to her every night. It calmed her.

_Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea,_

_To the open arms of the sea..._

_Lonely rivers sigh ‘wait for me, wait for me’..._

_‘I'll be coming home, wait for me.’_

Fareeha felt the woman in her arm tremble. She had thought Angela was cold and had almost offered the blonde her red plaid shirt until she heard a small sob, muffled in her shoulder, almost drown out by the music. Fareeha realized a little too late that Angela was crying softly. She could now feel something damp on her chest.

“Angela?”

There was no answer. Angela was still trembling, hand clutching Fareeha’s shoulder tighter. Even though she was worried, Fareeha waited patiently. She continued to sway them both to the music; a hand running slowly up Angela’s back, rubbing gently. An urge to kiss Angela’s forehead overwhelmed her, and Fareeha was startled at such a thought. Why would she want that? Angela was her friend. She shouldn’t have wanted to kiss a friend’s forehead just because she was crying. But then again, when Fareeha was a little child, her mother had always kissed her forehead when she was upset or crying, to comfort her. So, it was okay to have the desire to do the same thing for Angela, wasn’t it? Fareeha simply wanted to comfort her.

Too busy to wrestle with her head, Fareeha didn’t notice the sobbing had stopped until Angela sniffed. “I’m sorry. It’s just that the song is so sad, I couldn’t help it,” she said, face still hidden in Fareeha’s shoulder.

“I see...” said Fareeha, rolling her eyes at herself for the lack of anything nicer to say.

 _You loser! Why is it that everytime she needs your comfort the most, you chose to lose all of your wits?_ Fareeha screamed at her head. She was trying to ignore the warm breath next to her cheek, or the desperate hold Angela had on her to form a decent sentence to say to Angela, but the doctor beat her to it.

“This is so embarrassing. I seem to cry every time we meet,” Angela breathed out a strained laugh, finally looking up at Fareeha with apologetic eyes. Her blue eyes looked a bit puffy, her mascara had run a little, and her nose red, but Angela was beautiful still, Fareeha thought.     

“It’s okay to cry when you’re sad, Angela,” Fareeha said, swallowing a lump in her throat. She knew the reason for her tears.

Shaking her head, Angela smiled a broken smile, “Not like this. I’m only making you feel uncomfortable, am I not?”

“Never,” Fareeha said firmly, looking straight into blue eyes. “You could never make me feel uncomfortable.”

Angela stared at her for the longest time. Fareeha caught her blue eyes darting down to her lips for a split second before looking back at her eyes. Angela looked as though she wanted to say something but struggled against it. Fareeha waited. She wasn’t sure if she had ever been this patient before. Fareeha was always a foward person; once she had made her mind, she rarely hesitated saying or doing something. But now regarding the doctor, Fareeha had this nagging feeling that she could hurt Angela even with just a little push. Still, Fareeha wanted so badly to know what was hiding inside that brilliant mind, what caused the little frown between her eyebrows, or what prompting her to bite her lip gently.

In the end, Angela chose not to reveal her true thoughts because she only mumbled a small ‘thank you’ to Fareeha. Fareeha was disappointed, yes, but she didn’t blame Angela for being shy. After all, they had only known each other for only a few weeks. Angela needed time, and Fareeha owed it to her.

The song ended, and they stopped dancing.

“Thank you for the dance,” Angela said, stepping back.

“Thank you for dancing with me,” Fareeha said.  

For a moment, they stood facing one another awkwardly. Angela was looking at her own feet, and Fareeha stared at a spot in a corner. Fareeha was once again found herself at a loss for words, and it frustrated her to no end. _Say something, you doofus! Say something to her, goddamn it!_

“I should get going. It’s getting late,” said Angela at last, once again one step ahead of Fareeha.

Fareeha bit back a disappointing sigh and instead nodded dumbly. “Let me take you home?” she asked in an attempt to save face and to spend the remaining time with Angela as much as possible.

“I take the train, Fareeha...”

“I know. I mean let me ride the train with you?”

“You will have to take a cab back to your place. Won’t it be inconvenient?”

“I insist, Angela, unless you don’t want me to.”

“No!” Angela quickly said, then perhaps realizing her mistake, she cleared her throat. “I mean yes, I’d like it very much if you would ride the train with me.”

Fareeha smiled. They took time to say goodbye to the others, which prompted a pouty-faced Lena and a not-so-happy Lucio, but they waved and wished Fareeha and Angela goodnight nonetheless.

They kept quiet the entire time on the train. It was the last train going back from downtown to the suburb. There were not many people in the car they were riding in, only an old man who was snoring softly in the corner and a young woman who also had her eyes closed and her ears plugged with her earpods. It was a comfortable silence, though. Fareeha used it to rest her eyes as she leaned back, placing her head on the back of the booth they were sitting in. Angela wasn’t much verbal, either. She had kept it to herself ever since they got on the train, and she had also mimicked Fareeha, leaning back, eyes closed.

Fareeha was delighted with the music playing on the train. Jazz, her favorite. It gave her a feeling of nostalgia as well as urban vibe, reminded her of that one time visiting a book café in Cairo, where she had had her very first romance with the owner’s daughter. Fareeha was only sixteen back then.

Something landed on her shoulder, and Fareeha opened her eyes to see it was a blonde head. Angela was sound asleep; she even snored softly. Fareeha held back a chuckle, afraid she might wake the doctor. She was surprised to see someone as cautious as Angela would allow herself to sleep on a train full of strangers. But thinking about it, Fareeha was no stranger to her, was she? Could it be that Angela felt safe around her, enough to be falling asleep on her shoulder? Fareeha truly hoped so.

As Angela slept, Fareeha allowed her mind to think about the blonde. Fareeha didn’t know much about her except she knew Angela had started her medical career at a relatively young age. She had excelled in nanobiology for medical purposes and had continued to do research to further utilize its ability. Mei wasn’t joking when she had called Angela genius.

Fareeha smiled. Despite being a genius and had been working as a top surgeon for over a decade, Angela didn’t look like one at all. At first glance, Angela couldn’t be older than thirty. Her skin was soft and smooth (Fareeha had noticed when she held Angela), and there was hardly any wrinkles on her face. Her hands were smaller and not as rough as Fareeha’s, but she could feel chapped fingers whenever Angela touched her. Fareeha bet she would find many cuts there if she had a chance to inspect them. Angela might look younger than her age, but Fareeha could tell she wasn’t much older than herself. Now thinking about it, Fareeha wanted to know how old Angela was, but she dared not ask because past experience had taught her that asking women about their age was a very very bad idea for a start.

The mechanical voice of the train station informed Fareeha that they had reach their destination, and she gently shook Angela’s shoulder. To her utter surprise (and perhaps delight), Angela moaned. It was a soft, breathy sound, meant to be a protest but failed to deliver. It was music to Fareeha’s ears, and she could feel her face grow hot again within seconds. It was sexual, her moan, and Fareeha was embarrassed and terrified at the same time at how aroused she was being right now. The sweet smell from Angela’s hair spreading through the air around her, or the warmth that radiated from their pressed shoulders didn’t help either. It was driving Fareeha mad. _It has to be the alcohol. It has to be!_ Fareeha frantically blamed the drinks.

The train station’s mechanical voice rang in her ears once again, and Fareeha knew they had to get out now or there would be no train to ride back. Pulling herself together, Fareeha called out, “Angela, wake up. We’re here.”

Angela made another noise much like earlier as a reply, and Fareeha found herself withered a little. Who would have expected someone like Angela would be a pain to wake.

“Angela, we need to get out now!” Fareeha raised her voice, shaking the doctor with more force this time. “Angela!” she almost yelled, and to her relief, Angela’s head jerked up. The blonde looked around quizzically, but Fareeha didn’t wait for her to get herself together. She grabbed Angela’s hand and pulled her towards the now-closing automatic door, dashing out in time before the train could take them to God know where.

“You…” Fareeha paused, pointing to the doctor, “...sleep like a rock, you know that?”

Angela’s face flushed with vigorous red, probably embarrassed that her not-so-proud secret had been found out. She stuttered, “S-sorry. I’m usually not that bad. I-it’s just that I was a little bit tired and-”

“It’s okay, Angela,” smiled Fareeha, placing a gentle hand on small shoulder. “I was just joking. Come on, let’s get you home,” she said, jerking her head to the exit.

They took the bus to Angela’s house, which only took half the time walking from the train station. Fareeha had wanted to walk, but Angela insisted she didn’t want to trouble Fareeha any longer. It was a surprise (a pleasant one) to find that Fareeha had agreed to anything Angela wanted. She was growing soft on the doctor as it seemed.

“This is me,” Angela said, stopping in front of her house.

“It is,” Fareeha nodded.

“Are you sure you didn’t hit your head during the game?”

Fareeha’s eyes widened at the out-of-the-blue question. She then chuckled, “I’m sure, Angela. Even if I did, it would be okay. I had taken a lot worse than a hit in the head,” she said with ease, almost missed the worried look Angela was suddenly sporting. “I’m fine. I promise,” she quickly reassured the doctor.        

Angela nodded. “Alright. But if anything hurts, call me okay?”

“I will.”

“Well, goodnight then,” Angela said, walking backwards to the door.

“Goodnight, Angela. Stay warm,” Fareeha smiled. She had wanted to give the doctor a goodbye hug but decided against it. It was still too soon for that. Instead, she shoved her hands into her jeans pockets.

“And you, too,” Angela smiled back. She opened the door and stepped inside, waving at Fareeha before shutting it.

Alone under the porch light, Fareeha let out a content sigh. Today had gone smoothly, even better than she had expected. She couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit proud of herself. She had successfully showed off her soccer skills to Angela and her friends (Fareeha grinned at the thought); she had an amazing slow dance with the doctor (minus the crying part); and even though Fareeha kept telling herself it was inappropriate, she couldn’t quite get Angela’s sleepy moan out of her mind. She might or might not need a cold shower once she got home.

Chuckling, Fareeha pulled out her phone and called for Uber.

_Nope, no cold shower tonight._

 

  
  
  


    

 

  



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